My Boy 3…

Boy 3 came into my life via a dating site. He was a bit younger than me and I tend to shy away from the younger ones. He said he was polyamorous and in a committed relationship with his wife. They had been together for 5-6 years. He seemed intelligent and was very gentlemanly. His level of maturity impressed me. He was unlike most men his age and we had quite a bit in common…

Our first date was a fun night of dinner, pool, and geeky conversations about superheroes and films. It was a lovely evening…he danced with me a bit in the parking lot and kissed me goodnight…Second date was a drink at a bar and sweaty van sex…

This is where warning sign #1 appeared. His wife was upset that he did not answer a message right away. We were caught up in the moment and engaged in sexual matters and she was upset that he did not text her back immediately. He called her and I could hear her very upset about being out a bit late and not responding to all of her messages. I understand that messages from spouses need to be answered as soon as possible, but this seemed a bit extreme.

I too am married. When I am seeing someone new, I am constantly reassuring my husband that he comes first in my life. I know the importance of responding to text messages, but my husband knows where I am at all times and trusts me implicitly…there seemed to be trust issues with Boy 3 and his wife.

I ignored this warning sign because it is terribly hard to find a compatible poly person for me…

We continued to see each other and progress…From time to time Boy 3 would tell me how jealous his wife was of my job, my looks, and my life. She had NOTHING to be worried about in regards to me. I had no interest of stealing her husband from her. I had one of my own. Boy 3 was constantly reassuring his wife. Warning sign #2

He would make plans with me then would have to cancel due to his wife needing additional attention at times. I understood but was getting a bit annoyed. They would take Sundays as their “date day” and I knew to never expect to see him those days or to make plans. He would then call me occasionally on a Sunday telling me that his wife decided to go see her boy and left him alone…If he had made plans with me, she would have been upset. Warning sign #3.

I asked several times to speak to his wife to help reassure her…she would not have any of it. She would not talk to me. She wanted nothing to do with me. Warning sign #4.

At the end, when I FINALLY got to talk to her because she forbid us from seeing one another, she said, “Had I known you REALLY wanted to talk to me, I would have talked to you.” Of course I REALLY wanted to talk with her. I would not waste my time otherwise…

After I ignored all of the warning signs, we progressed for 5 months. He would tell me that he loved me. I had not gotten to the point of love as of yet, but I cared for him a great deal. I have been quite guarded as of late due to me caring about people that I should not…I did deeply care for him and utterly adored him.

He became interested in BDSM. He knew I played with others and wanted to play with me. I asked him if his wife was OK with us playing at our local club and he said, “Yes.” This, come to find out, was a lie…

I asked someone close to me that tops me often to show him the ropes on how to effectively top me (be a dominant). It was exceedingly difficult to dominate/top me due to my personality and nature. I was so excited about finding someone with whom I was very sexual that was capable of  topping me. He showed him the ropes…he was a solid, attentive, budding top…

He would give me a solid power exchange through flogging, paddling, spanking, biting, pulling my hair, putting his hand on my throat…Boy 3 was a natural and could read me. I knew he would only learn more and progress well in this lifestyle. It also translated well into our sexual experiences. We were planning more intense play.

One evening, Boy 3 tells me the good news that his wife is pregnant. With the history of his wife being jealous about me, I started to feel some concern. She wanted to continue to see her boys and was reassured by them that they would still be interested in her regardless of her delicate state. However, my guard was going up…I thought she might want him not to see others…I was his only other girl. He barely had time for me. Warning sign #5.

One Sunday, he was not answering my texts. I became worried. He had cancelled a few of our dates due to his mom being ill and his wife getting in a car accident. I knew his wife was ok from the car accident but became concerned that something happened to his mother. I worried a large portion of the day and evening..

He did not contact me until Monday morning…

At work I took a scheduled break and we would have a morning chat. He told me that Monday morning that he and his wife needed some time together to work through some things. I understood. I told him that pregnancy hormones can be overwhelming the first few months and to give it time. She would eventually adapt to the fluctuations and it would be ok. He seemed to want to continue our relationship…

Later that afternoon, I get a message from him asking if he could call me. I was available and took his call. He was in tears…

He said that he had lied to me and his wife. They both had made a rule about playing in BDSM with others. They had agreed neither were allowed to play with others in BDSM roles. I do not understand such rules. Why would anyone care if I am paddled/flogged/bitten/etc. before I engage in sexual relations with a lover? I suppose it does not matter given that their rules prevented either from such play. He wanted that with me and his rules forbade him. He betrayed their preset rules…and lied to me about his wife being “OK” with our play at the local club…

He said that he could not see me anymore due to his lie. We had only played at the club twice. This somehow was enough for his wife to forbid him from ever seeing me again. I am not excusing his lie, but she was not lenient at all in the matter. She sat there in the background while he cried on the phone apologizing for causing me pain. He clearly loves me. I asked to speak to her. That’s when she mentioned that had she thought I was really interested in speaking with her, then she would have. She asked if he had played with others, I said “No.” She focused so much on his lie. She said she was mad that he lied to both of us. I offered help for her in the event she needed it. She seemed gracious but I am certain it was a facade.

I would have been fine only being vanilla (no BDSM) with him but clearly this was not acceptable to her. She always had issues with me and this seemed to be the way to get rid of me…I have never met this woman…she would never meet me…

I receive a text later from Boy 3 asking me to remove pics from social sites involving our play. He was not in the pictures, but he wanted them deleted regardless of the fact the pics were only of my body. He said he was getting help for his lying problem. I felt they both clearly needed help but refrained from saying so.

The next day, he unfriended me on Facebook and deleted all of his twitter accounts.

I was completely erased from his existence…our 5 months together seemed to have meant nothing. This hurt more than anything else…I was leaving this relationship with nothing…not even a friend.

The last text I sent stated how it felt to be erased from his existence and that I would not contact him again…I cried over this for 5 days…

I cared for Boy 3…very much so…but…I should have paid attention to the warning signs. He and his wife clearly have issues and I was drug into them. She still gets to see him. I have nothing from this…except experience…and fond memories of things that once were and will never be again…

Being polyamorous can be utterly heartbreaking. Honesty and communication is key. I need to acknowledge the warning signs and recognize issues as they arise. I took a risk and it shattered me. Do I take the risk again? I was happy with Boy 3. I will hold onto that.

Thanks For Reading,

Melliscious xx

Addendum: In regards to the pregnancy hormones…I am not blaming them for anything. I feel they do tend to enhance some insecurities which may or may not be related to Boy 3’s behavior. I do not condone his lying but I do feel that there are problems on both sides.

I will also add that they are now claiming to be monogamous…

I am sure there are plenty of issues here. I only know what Boy 3 told me. Likely some things were lies…I will update as I find out new information…I am still hurting and will likely have a clearer head as things progress…

Awkward Number 1

When my husband and I made the decision to be “open”, I started to set up profiles on various dating sites. One was more adult driven and it was not uncommon for me to log onto my account and have 100 emails from penis pictures. It would literally be a forest of erect penises in avatar pics. It became quite stressful after a while. I was being hounded by an army of dicks telling me all the ways that they could make me orgasm. Sometimes I would make funny voices for these talking penises and amuse myself. I gave many of them cartoon voices according to the tone of the message and the pic itself….But I digress…

I am approached on this site by a man with an actual face picture and a polite message of interest…

It was easy to spot the non penis pic guys because there were so few of them and honestly…a dick pic is a dick pic and they all blend together after a while. I read his profile. He was a handsome Navy fitness trainer. He lived nearby. He had a little girl and seemed to have a solid head on his shoulders. We chatted a bit, exchanged numbers, texted and made a date to meet.

We met at a Sushi bar and had a lovely chat. He was handsome with gorgeous green eyes and quite fit. He walks me to my car and kisses me bye…twice. He was very gentlemanly and sweet. This was my second date, but first real possibility for a sexual encounter as a newly poly girl. The first guy was uncomfortable with the poly lifestyle. This new guy was not bothered by it. We make plans for an evening at his place for dinner, movie, video games.

The day comes when I go to visit his place…and with the lovely timing of nature…I get my period. I decide not to outright tell him this because there really is no nice way of saying, “Hey! Guess what? We are gonna have a GREAT time tonight ESPECIALLY if you are into bleeding vaginas!” I decide to go on with the evening to see how things unfold…

I carry on with making dinner, having wine and conversation. We play ROCK BAND on his Xbox and then watch a film. He starts kissing me and things begin to get heated. I then tell him at this point that I have actually started my period…

His response? “I don’t care, I will put down a towel if I have to.” It never really bothers me to have sex while I am menstruating. I actually find it soothing on cramps. I thought it might be awkward for a first time sexual experience for us as a couple. Nevertheless, I agree and we go to his bedroom.

I excuse myself to his bathroom and “handle things” before we get to going at it…He is naked and waiting for me in his bed. I tell him that I practice safe sex and use condoms. He is not used to using condoms but I insist. We continue foreplay some more with me on a towel…yes he laid out a towel…then he goes to put on the condom…

The condom is too big…

It wasn’t a triple x massive cock type of condom. It was a standard size Trojan condom. I was embarrassed for him. I was impressed by his persistence in trying to have sex with me with a condom that fit like a plastic shopping bag on a bunch of carrots. It kept slipping off and he kept saying he was not used to condoms. I could see why given that the standard size did not fit him. He probably had a hard time finding condoms that fit.

I could barely feel him inside of me. There was not much hope of gaining an internal orgasm but maybe his pounding into me might do something? He pulled my hair at one time and started talking dirty which was an admirable effort but all in all…I had a tiny orgasm earlier in the foreplay, and he did not get there at all.

We stopped and went to the kitchen for a snack on the leftovers…

We watched a little more of the film. I got dressed then went home. We texted each other a little bit after that then he fell off of the planet. Probably was for the best. The whole evening was a giant mess of awkward. We would not be able to give one another what we needed.

I will say that I have never been with a man that was too small to fit a standard sized condom. I am betting the horror of that moment probably killed the evening for him. And I felt horrified for him.

THAT was my first sexual encounter as a newly poly girl. Happy that I was wise enough to realize that there was more on the horizon and I just had to keep looking…

And another interesting addition to my collection of life’s stories…

Thank you for Reading,

Melliscious xx

The Accidental 3 Way from Hell…

As I journey into finding regular people to fill my life in this lifestyle, I utilize online dating sites to aid me in finding like minded individuals. I am not only looking for men but I am also curious about exploring sexual encounters with women. I was approached on an online dating site by a woman who was interested in chatting with me over drinks sometime. I am pretty new to dating women so I thought it would be fun to meet for a drink and see what transpires. After making plans twice and her having to cancel twice we finally settle on a workable night.

I arrive at the bar…She is late…

She texts me telling me that she is running behind due to her needing to put her daughter to bed. She has a boyfriend who periodically stays with her and she maintains that they are “open” in their relationship. She is bisexual and wants to continue to be involved with women but only needs her boyfriend to satiate her for her needs involving men. She finally arrives and is more than pleased with me. She has a difficult time keeping her hands off of mine. She is constantly stroking my arm and starts to play with my hair.

She says, “I’m sorry, but you are just GORGEOUS! I can’t seem to keep my hands off of you! I hope this doesn’t bother you too much.”

I meekly reply, “Thank you…Um, no…It’s ok, I guess.” I am a bit weirded out by this woman but she is cute and her enthusiasm was fun and interesting. Again, I am a total noob at this dating girls thing and had no idea what to expect.

We have drinks and a light snack. She tells me what she does for a living.  She does hair, makeup,  massage, and nails. She discusses how she would love to doll me up one night. Me, being the incredibly girly girl that I am, gets excited at the thought of having a makeover. I’m starting to think that this dating girls thing is going to be really cool! She was cute, seemed to totally dig me, and things were going well.

She then mentions that we could go back to her place and could hang out for a while. Her boyfriend is at the house and he would probably like to meet me. I give her a look. She says that there is no pressure and she just thought it would be nice to have a good chat. She also mentions that I should text her address to my husband so he does not worry. I recognize this as a sensible statement and consider this woman to be level headed and not a crazy. I agree to go back to her house. She pays the check. We head to her place.

Her house is an older home. It is quite lovely. Hardwood floors. Lovely art on the walls. Antique furniture… Her boyfriend is there. He is sitting at the dining room table drinking a beer. She introduces us. He is a Navy engineer and we begin to have a fun discussion in regards to physics. I am a bit of a science nerd and enjoy our conversation. She says she needs to shower but gets me some wine before she leaves the room and gives me a kiss. She tells us to sit a bit closer and to get comfortable. I start to get a tad suspicious…

I continue my science discussion with the engineer and we hit it off well. We have a few chuckles, discuss his designs for a device he is working on, drink a bit more wine…

She returns in a robe that is half open…

I’m thinking, “Ok, then…Well, it is her house and if she wants to parade around naked, that’s cool, I guess…”

She says that I should sit on her boyfriend’s lap and give him a kiss. I politely decline. We have a bit more wine and then she says she wants to show me something.

She takes me by the hand and brings me to her bedroom…

Within what feels like 30 seconds, she strips off my clothes and starts kissing me. I was into her. I wanted to see where things would go. I was rather impressed with her ability to strip me so quickly. This woman clearly had done this before…come to find out later, she had done lesbian porn. This woman was very much shorter than me. She managed to pick me up and toss me onto the bed like I was a ragdoll. We start making out heavily. Then her boyfriend walks into the room and starts to play music. He strips down and they both go down on me.

I start thinking, “Um…Am I having a 3 way? This got weird. But she is cute and the guy is hot. Ok. Um, I kinda wanna see where this goes.”

So they both are giving me oral sex while discussing how sweet I taste and that I must eat a lot of fruit. I don’t actually eat a lot of fruit but that’s beside the point, I suppose. She then lies beside me and starts groping and kissing me while he gives us both oral. Things are getting pretty hot and he is giving us both lots of attention.I’m thinking that this is pretty cool. I’m having fun. They are a bit weird but it’s hot.

Then things go awry…cos then the crazy shows up…(it actually had been showing up all night, I just didn’t pay attention…hind sight and all)

He goes to enter me. Before he enters, she angrily gets up out of the bed and says, “You JUST FAILED! THERE!” and storms out of the room.

I am lying naked on the bed. Her boyfriend has his cock in his hand. I am wondering what the hell just happened…

At that point they proceed to have an argument over him giving me more attention and that he had “tested her” earlier that week. I am still naked in her bedroom trying to piece together the fact that this 3 Way was some oddball, giant “loyalty test” for her boyfriend.

Was I just used? She finds me after I start getting dressed apologizing saying that it wasn’t anything that I had done. I agreed saying that OH NO, I didn’t do A THING wrong! I said that I’d be headed home to let the two of them work it out. She offered to give me some money because she felt bad. I politely declined and was a bit offended that she felt money would be necessary. She hugged and tried to kissed me after I got dressed. I quickly left the house as she said she would text me the next day.

The next day…

She does not text me but her boyfriend does saying that they have broken up and he thought we hit it off well. He wants to pursue things with me. I tell him that I think we all need time to process what happened the previous night. She had told me she had intentions of marrying this guy. I was not interested in jumping into anything with him after the events of the previous night. Also, I was considering the fact that their relationship was a serious one.

He continued to text me for a few days. I finally told him that I was not interested in pursuing anything with him and asked him to stop contacting me. At that point, he did.

Is it possible to have an accidental 3 Way? Yes. Do I recommend it? No. It could be said that this was a bit “rapey” to some extent, but I was a willing participant that never said “no”. I was curious and willing to see where things would go. It is my nature to explore new territories and try new things. I learned a lot that evening. It left me with a helluva story.

I have always liked a good story. The best kinds can be the ones that I am lucky enough to have a starring role…Albeit this one did not end well, but you only live once. I want my life to be an exceptional collection of stories…

You don’t get good stories sitting on the sidelines watching others live their lives…You get off of the stand, take the risks, and join in the game…

Thank you for Reading,

Melliscious xx

The Nutty French Professor…A Night chock full of CRAZY

In my journey of polyamory, I have encountered interesting people. One of the oddest dates I have ever been on involved a French professor. We briefly met once for a drink. He called me a few weeks later and asked me to meet him a a local bar. We had a lovely chat the last time so I agreed.

Our next date:

We met at the bar. I had a rum and coke and he had a beer. We chatted for a bit. He mentioned going back to his place to watch a movie and chat because the atmosphere there was loud. I gave him a concerned look. His response? “Don’t worry, I am not going to try to sleep with you.” I tell him that I am required to text my husband the address that I am at whenever I go out for safety purposes. He complies and gives me his information. I follow him in my car and we go back to his place…

He offers to make me a coffee.He brings the French press to the living room and makes it for me there. I sit on the couch. He pops in a movie called CHOKE then has a seat next to me. We barely say anything during the film. He does, however, develop a fascination for the curls in my hair. He slowly starts to pick apart the curls essentially frizzing my hair. He then takes his wolf like nails, scratches my leg and says, “I’m trying to see if I leave any marks on you.”

Bear in mind, we have barely spoken. He is taking odd liberties. After the film is done (film was about a sex addict), he says he needs to go outside for a smoke and asks if I’d like to join him. I agree due to the fact I am oddly curious as to what this odd man might do next…

We go on his balcony (it’s screened in so no fear of being pushed off the edge.). He takes his fingers and starts poking my ribs. I give him an odd look while thinking, “WOW! you are WEIRD aren’t you?” He asks me to turn around and proceeds poking me again. He says that he is trying to see if I am ticklish. He then takes my face into his hands and gives me a rather creepy grin. He frizzes my hair some more. Tis a bit unnerving…We go back inside…

At this point I am hoping that he doesn’t wield a butcher knife and think DINNERTIME! I really didn’t think I was in total danger for he knew that my husband knew where I was…

We sit on the couch and he goes back to destroying my hairstyle and scratching my legs. He looks at me and says that he would like to show me how he kisses but he has bad breath. I offer him a mint. He graciously accepts and I eat one as well.

He looks at me and says, “I guess I could have brushed my teeth since I am at home. It may have been faster than sucking this mint.”

I say, “Well, yes. You could also bite the mint.”

He says, “No it will ruin my teeth!” I give him an odd look… O.o

I tell him that I am going to read one of his French books while he waits for the mint to dissolve. Since I studied Spanish, I thought I might know a few French words..I was also starting to feel like I was in a perpetual Monty Python sketch so playing along with the weirdness became quite fun.

He finishes his mint and kisses me. He is not a bad kisser although his breath did smell of minty cigarettes, beer and coffee. I mention that there were no marks from his nails. He tells me that this is good to know. He says he would like to arrange a play date one night. I smile politely while I am yelling, “Oh HELL NO!” in my head.

He mentions that it is getting late. I agree and we walk to my car. He doesn’t kiss me goodnight or hug me. He says to be safe driving and tells me goodbye. He walks back to his apartment without turning around or waving…

The night does not stop here with the weirdness…

I drive home taking a route that leads me through an unsavory area. It was the fastest route home. I see a car had crashed into a light pole. I stop, get out and phone 911. I walk to the car to find a man slumped over the steering wheel. I ask him if he is ok and can walk. He gets out of the car and leans against the side. I see smoke rising from the car and instruct the man to go to the curb.

The man says, “My cigarettes and glasses are in my car. Will you get them?”

I say, “Sir, I am not going into a smoking car to get your glasses and your cigarettes are in your front pocket.” He pats his ass. I direct him to his shirt.

He says,”I’m not even gonna lie. I am drunk. Just know that I swerved to miss a person and crashed my car. Therefore I sacrificed to save someone’s life!” There was no one in sight.

A lady walks out of her home and tells me she wants to stand with me just for safety’s sake until the police arrive because the area was known for being high crime. I am grateful.

The man says again, “I am very drunk.”

Me, “Yes.”

Man says, “I fucked up my life tonight, didn’t I?”

Me, “Yes, yes you did.” The police arrive and tell me to head home. I make it home safely free from harm but with an unusual night of tales to tell. I have no idea what sort of play the Nutty French Professor wanted to do. I do know that it wouldn’t involve me. You meet all kinds in the kink world. He is one of the many odd ones I have encountered…

Lesson? Make sure someone knows where you are at all times when you are out..

Thanks for Reading,

Melliscious xx