Superheroes, Villains and Their Kink Roles Part 2: Metropolis and the Man of Steel

Continuing on with this series analyzing Superheroes, Villains, and their hypothetical kink roles in various forms of media, eyes look to the bustling city of Metropolis.

Unlike many in the Avengers that reveal their identity, Superman hides his. Many in the kink community hide their identity to protect their positions in life, their family, their jobs…all because society does not welcome and/or does not understand the lifestyle. Superman is similar in that he hides to maintain some sense of “normalcy” in a world that does not understand him.

Let’s take a look at The Man of Steel:

superman

“All those things I can do…all those powers…and I couldn’t even save him…”

Only son of Jor-El from the lost planet of Krypton. His Krypton name is Kal-El.

Has immense strength and is impenetrable to weapons from Earth. Has the ability to fly and travel at speeds that clock faster than sound. The actual speed limit of Superman is debatable. He is a superhuman that has enhanced human abilities.

Limits: Superman can not see through lead and is rendered helpless by the extraterrestrial rock know as kryptonite (from his home planet). In the presence of this rock, he weakens close to the point of death.

Raised by humans Martha and Jonathon Kent, he led a humble farmer life and was given the earth name “Clark”.

He hides his natural superhuman state and alter ego “Superman” as the humble and unmentionable Clark Kent…a news journalist at the Daily Planet. He follows orders according to society’s standards as Clark Kent and upholds the law as Superman.

It is rumored that the love of his life is Lois Lane…a strong female and another journalist at the Daily Planet.

BDSM Analysis:

Superman hides his identity to protect the ones that he loves from his enemies. The identity he chooses to represent his “human self” is Clark Kent. Clark is a very quiet and unremarkable person that discreetly does his job. He shies away from others in the office and gives the appearance of a weaker man. He takes orders from everyone including Lois Lane. As Superman, he is the most powerful superhuman on Earth. As Clark Kent, he is the weakest. He longs to be human but can not. Since this is the case, he chooses to protect humanity…the world he now loves. He serves his planet and yields to the call and whims of Lois Lane.

Superman is a submissive. He takes orders and upholds all of society’s laws. He does whatever he can to please Lois Lane. He even became human for her once in the second Donner film. He wants to please the people in his life. He requires structure and rules in order to function as Clark or Superman. He chooses to represent himself as a weaker man in need of direction through the alter ego Clark Kent. Kent is the embodiment as what he sees as human and how he wishes others to see him. He may have some dominant tendencies when overpowering criminals but only due to the fact that these criminals are going against “the rules”.

Superman tends to have a debauchery based attitude when under the influence of red kryptonite. He would likely show more kinkster-like behaviors and would likely have a bit more dominant tendencies. In small amounts, Superman may not be against “kryptonite play” seeing as he can not feel pain unless weakened. He would not likely carry a toy bag unless it contained things that Lois enjoys.

Superman does not appear to enjoy delivering pain and therefore is not a Sadist. He tries to avoid fights in order to prevent hurting others. He would be an unexpected Masochist. Since he can not feel pain, he has very little experience with it. However, since he has an incredible urge to be human and accepted as human, he may not be against delving into the aforementioned “kryptonite play” in order to experience the reality of what it means to be a human with the capability of pain.

Lois Lane

supermanlois1“You and I… could belong to each other. If you need a friend… I’m the one to fly to. If you need to be loved… here I am.”

Lois Lane is not a superhero. She has an important role in Metropolis and the life of Superman. She is a news journalist for the Daily Planet.

Has little fear in regards to her personal safety if a good story is brewing in a volatile situation. Is very confident, disregards advice/orders, and does what she wants.

Was saved by Superman as she fell out of a helicopter. She was given the first real interview with Superman.

Falls for Superman almost instantly. Is secretly adored by Clark Kent/Superman. She does not know that they are one and the same.

BDSM Analysis:

Lois Lane is a force of her own. She goes after any story that is compelling regardless of any element of danger. She does not take advice well. She will make her own decisions and come to her own conclusions. Clark offers advice regularly to her and she ignores it. She is rendered speechless around Superman often. She tends to obey him in his advice…at least temporarily. She and Superman do become intimate in the second Donner film where he becomes human for her. While Lois does swoon in Superman’s presence, ultimately she does as she pleases and Superman is willing to serve her and her needs.

Lois is a primarily a Dominant woman but would likely Switch with Superman from time to time. She is snarky and confident. She has no problem engaging in a fight if it is necessary. She will always speak her mind…sometimes without tact. She is very forward and heavily flirts with Superman. She does not worry about how her actions may be received. She goes after what she wants.

Lois’ toy bag would likely carry various forms of kryptonite for hardplay with Superman. She does run a danger when it comes to red kryptonite due to the fact that Superman’s attitude completely  changes to a debauchery state. He is not weakened by this stone so his powers would still be strong. Green kryptonite could be used to weaken Superman to allow him to feel pain. Pink kryptonite gives Superman homosexual tendencies. Other forms of kryptonite have different affects on Superman and could be used in various BDSM and sexual scenes. Lois could experiment with him carefully using each on or a combination in different ways.

Lois has not shown any enjoyment out of hurting others therefore she is not a Sadist. She also does not seem to enjoy pain and therefore not a Masochist. She has empathy for others and therefore would not be a Sadistic Dominant.

Lex Luthor:

lexluthor

“Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don’t share their power with mankind.”

Head of Luthor Industries.

Builds weapons under contract. Also utilizes his resources to further understand the limitations of Superman.

Criminal genius. Very wealthy. Seems to have unlimited resources.

Very greedy. Hungers for power and control. Gives orders and does not take orders.

Capable of torture and mass genocide for his own purposes.

Despises Superman and has made it an life goal to destroy him.

Has a tremendous ego near to a god complex.

*Important side note: Canon varies with each Lex Luthor. Various ones have been introduced over the years.  However, the personality and nature remains the same.

BDSM Analysis:

Lex Luthor is a dominant male. He owns his own corporation and engineers weapons in order to hurt Superman. He craves power and does not take orders from anyone. He will not submit under any circumstances. He is arrogant and carries an immense amount of confidence that prevents him from submission. No one is more worthy than he. He will not yield. His obsession with Superman is not likely sexual. Luthor wants his power. It is power over others that he craves. This is his driving force.

Some story lines have him involved with Lois Lane. Whether he actually loves Lois in this story lines could be debatable. His obsession with Superman seems to be all encompassing. His relationship with Lois would likely be to seek to destroy Superman. She would be a prize to be won. She would be something he could take from the “Man of Steel”. It is unknown if Luthor is actually capable of love…

Lex Luthor has seemingly unlimited resources. He would likely have a toy bag engineered exclusively to his own tastes. He enjoys delivering pain and has no concern over the affect of his pain on others. He would likely have instruments that would deliver an extreme amount of pain and heavy restraint. He would require total submission but clearly appreciates a good fight. He would want to strip his sub/bottom of any fight. The stronger the bottom/sub, the more joy he would get from removing their power.

Luthor is a full sadist. He does not seem to enjoy pain and would likely avoid it. Experiencing pain can resemble weakness. Luthor will not allow himself to be presented as weak. However, he will unleash pain as he sees fit…and he will enjoy it.

Notes:

General Zod and many of the other Superman villains exhibit sadistic and dominant behaviors similar to that of Lex Luthor. I could go into detail of each character and will likely do that in another post. Many of the villains cross over to other DC universes. I focused on the main villain of Lex Luthor and Superman’s dynamic with Lois Lane due to the importance of these individual relationships.

I plan to have a post exclusively for the women of DC…women are heavily represented in the DC universe and deserve their own post…

Also…Jimmy Olson? Total sub…think we all know that. 😉

Thanks For Reading,

Melliscious xx

Next Post? Likely XMEN or Gotham City…hmmm

Boy 3 and His Wife…An Update…

This morning I woke and checked one of my online sites to find a message from Boy 3’s wife. She had made a dummy account on this site for the sole purpose of looking at my pictures, reading my activity, reading my blogs, and messaging me.

This week Boy 3 broke off his relationship with me. He apparently had broken rules with his wife in regards to their poly relationship. My previous post discusses the rise and fall of the relationship involving him.

A few things to consider:

1. I have never met his wife nor have I ever spoken with her (until it ended). I asked once and she refused.

2. I only knew what Boy 3 told me.

3. I have no control over the poly rules of his relationship with his wife…I have never considered it to be my responsibility to make certain that he follows them.

4. I am sad for the both of them.

The message I received was incredibly long to the point that I had to take breaks from reading it. There were no paragraphs. It was a long, solid group of sentences all relaying the history of their relationship and what she felt in regards to me.

Here is what I have learned from her message…

She starts by saying they have been together for 8 years. Apparently Boy 3 cheated on her prior to them getting married and she did not find out until after the wedding. They separated then got back together. She suggested polyamory as a way to prevent lying and to stay together.

* Polyamory does not fix trust issues…

They start seeing other people. He finds someone he sees regularly…She finds someone as well…then he finds me on a dating site…

He tells her he is interested in seeing me as a “poly friend”…That is how our relationship was approached. He had said he felt he was too young for me…

Come to find out we had chemistry on our first date and enjoyed each other’s company. He told his wife he wanted to pursue things with me. She had a problem with this because she thought we were only going to be “friends”. She thought he had lied about his intentions with me.

She also had a problem with him seeing more than one person. He told me he was seeing someone else on occasion. I didn’t have a problem with it and felt it was none of my business…it was none of my business. Regardless, he broke it off with the other girl.

His wife was not comfortable with him seeing me (even after the first date) and told him he was not allowed to have sex with me until she was comfortable with him seeing me. We had unplanned sex on the second date. He was out late and missed a call from her. He went home and she told him that she wanted him to break it off with me immediately due to him missing the call and unplanned sex. He became upset and she said she would allow him to see me because he had started to care for me.

I asked if I could speak with her to help alleviate concerns or clarify things. He went to her with this and she said no. She said that she did not want to meet me or speak with me. I mentioned to him that I wish she would speak with me. He did not ask her again because she seemed so adamant not to discuss anything with me. She said in her message, had she known I really wanted to speak with her, she would have. I really wanted to speak with her, but why would I press the issue? I was not going to make his wife talk to me and I did not want to make waves or cause drama.

He and I had communicated daily…and continued to progress.

While on another date, he missed another phone call of hers. We were in a loud bar and it was hard to hear. Given that was an issue last time, I became concerned. He immediately called her back when he noticed the missed call and we ended our date. That evening she again mentioned that she wanted him to break it off with me. The whole thing was accidental. He never intentionally missed her calls…ever. She said this was 3 strikes and she wanted the relationship with me to end.

Again…I have never met this woman. And she would not speak with me.

She found out that I knew of her insecurities in regards to me. I never asked Boy 3 to tell me of his relationship woes. I also said that it was none of my business what was going on between him and his wife. However, it seemed she was constantly trying to thwart us from seeing one another and some of this gave me some insight as to the situation. This was another rule that was broken.

Boy 3 had told me about his wife wanting him to see another girl that she had been talking with on a polyamory board. She was in a triad and Boy 3’s wife was going to start seeing the husband. She confirmed this in her message saying that she was trying to get him to see her. He was not interested in her. She wanted him to be interested in her because she had developed a friendship with this new girl. Boy 3 was happy with me and did not want to add on more partners. It seemed she was trying to control who he was allowed to see. It was like she was arranging his relationships based on who was approved.

Boy 3 has told me once or twice that he loves me. I had not yet reached that level of care as of yet and had been a bit guarded due to my instincts kicking in…I did, however, care for him quite a bit. I know he was quite happy with me. He had not told his wife that he started to love me. This was another rule he had broken.

In her message, she goes on to tell me about a lie he told me in regards to a “fight” they had in seeing me when her brother was in town. I have no idea what to believe when it comes to either of these people.

She goes on to tell me that she decided to read my text messages to him in his phone and that is how she found out that we were involved in BDSM play. This was another rule that was broken. He was not allowed to play publicly or privately in BDSM with anyone but his wife.

Apparently there was a very long list of rules that she goes into detail over and he had broken quite a few of them with me.

* I am ethical. Had she spoken with me when I asked..I would have learned about the rules…I at least would have followed them…hence he would have as well.

Seeing as he could not follow any rules, she told him strongly that she wanted him to end things with me…but she would not force him. However, she pressed the issue that she wanted him to end things with me…hence forcing him to make that decision. They are deciding to be monogamous and seek counseling. She is now pregnant with their first child. Their marriage is very much in danger at this point…I feel sad for them.

Boy 3 deleted his social media profiles, unfriended me on various sites…His wife told me he did this because she wanted to eliminate the temptation of seeing me again. He knows where I live. He has my phone number. He knows where I work. If he wanted to see me, he would find a way. Deleting profiles on the internet does not change that.

My final analysis:

Boy 3’s wife has been against my relationship with Boy 3 from the start. I do not condone his lying to either me or her, however, I can see where the lies came from…Every time he messed up and confessed his mistakes, she became angry and wanted him to end it with me. She mentioned that she needed open communication. When he was open and took responsibility for things, she would express anger and contempt for his relationship with me. He began to hide things from her because he wanted to progress with me. He seemed afraid to be honest with her when he did make a mistake for fear of losing me. In the end he lost me anyway due to his lying to her.

She is desperate to fix her marriage. She is trying to control the entire situation. She is desperate to hold onto a man who seems to love her but can not adhere to rules of monogamy or the long list of rules dictated for their poly relationship. Poly relationships need to have both people willing to adhere to rules that THEY BOTH can live with…not just one person. The rules can change as people, dynamics and relationships change. Poly people need TRULY OPEN communication without punishment for honesty. People are going to make mistakes, but making ultimatums does not solve any issues when a mistake is made. The root of why the mistake happened needs to be examined. Punishment for mistakes as in a “3 strikes” scenario is counterproductive for many. Sometimes these strikes are accidental. And when feelings are involved, people are going to try to protect what/who they care for…including their own heart…this can lead to things being hidden.

I do not agree with the way Boy 3 handled this situation. He lied not just to me but to his wife. I do not trust him. I do not trust his wife…I have not met her (by her request), spoke to her once (when he broke it off with me), received an incredibly long message from her (on a dummy profile she made to check my activity and pics), and she has made it plain she did not want him to see me from the start.

I am not comfortable with any of this. I care for Boy 3. I do, very deeply. I will not be involved with him again so long as he is in this situation. Even then, I’d be exceedingly cautious and he would have a lot to answer for…it would not likely happen.

I hope they work out their issues…I wish the best for them both…

One final note…

Polyamory does not fix relationship problems. If there is no trust, polyamory does not work. Polyamory will add many dynamics to all of your relationships. If you can’t handle your monogamous one, being poly will only add to your issues.

Thank You For Reading,

Melliscious xx

 

Addendum: She “allowed” him to continue to see me even when said rules were broken due to his affection for me. Relationships are different for each couple…however…if there are rules in place…they need to be adhered to or changed…The situation needs to be re evaluated where someone is “allowed” to see another after rules are broken…re evaluate and re negotiate according to the different dynamics you have with different people or truly cut it off and know your hard limits…

My Boy 3…

Boy 3 came into my life via a dating site. He was a bit younger than me and I tend to shy away from the younger ones. He said he was polyamorous and in a committed relationship with his wife. They had been together for 5-6 years. He seemed intelligent and was very gentlemanly. His level of maturity impressed me. He was unlike most men his age and we had quite a bit in common…

Our first date was a fun night of dinner, pool, and geeky conversations about superheroes and films. It was a lovely evening…he danced with me a bit in the parking lot and kissed me goodnight…Second date was a drink at a bar and sweaty van sex…

This is where warning sign #1 appeared. His wife was upset that he did not answer a message right away. We were caught up in the moment and engaged in sexual matters and she was upset that he did not text her back immediately. He called her and I could hear her very upset about being out a bit late and not responding to all of her messages. I understand that messages from spouses need to be answered as soon as possible, but this seemed a bit extreme.

I too am married. When I am seeing someone new, I am constantly reassuring my husband that he comes first in my life. I know the importance of responding to text messages, but my husband knows where I am at all times and trusts me implicitly…there seemed to be trust issues with Boy 3 and his wife.

I ignored this warning sign because it is terribly hard to find a compatible poly person for me…

We continued to see each other and progress…From time to time Boy 3 would tell me how jealous his wife was of my job, my looks, and my life. She had NOTHING to be worried about in regards to me. I had no interest of stealing her husband from her. I had one of my own. Boy 3 was constantly reassuring his wife. Warning sign #2

He would make plans with me then would have to cancel due to his wife needing additional attention at times. I understood but was getting a bit annoyed. They would take Sundays as their “date day” and I knew to never expect to see him those days or to make plans. He would then call me occasionally on a Sunday telling me that his wife decided to go see her boy and left him alone…If he had made plans with me, she would have been upset. Warning sign #3.

I asked several times to speak to his wife to help reassure her…she would not have any of it. She would not talk to me. She wanted nothing to do with me. Warning sign #4.

At the end, when I FINALLY got to talk to her because she forbid us from seeing one another, she said, “Had I known you REALLY wanted to talk to me, I would have talked to you.” Of course I REALLY wanted to talk with her. I would not waste my time otherwise…

After I ignored all of the warning signs, we progressed for 5 months. He would tell me that he loved me. I had not gotten to the point of love as of yet, but I cared for him a great deal. I have been quite guarded as of late due to me caring about people that I should not…I did deeply care for him and utterly adored him.

He became interested in BDSM. He knew I played with others and wanted to play with me. I asked him if his wife was OK with us playing at our local club and he said, “Yes.” This, come to find out, was a lie…

I asked someone close to me that tops me often to show him the ropes on how to effectively top me (be a dominant). It was exceedingly difficult to dominate/top me due to my personality and nature. I was so excited about finding someone with whom I was very sexual that was capable of  topping me. He showed him the ropes…he was a solid, attentive, budding top…

He would give me a solid power exchange through flogging, paddling, spanking, biting, pulling my hair, putting his hand on my throat…Boy 3 was a natural and could read me. I knew he would only learn more and progress well in this lifestyle. It also translated well into our sexual experiences. We were planning more intense play.

One evening, Boy 3 tells me the good news that his wife is pregnant. With the history of his wife being jealous about me, I started to feel some concern. She wanted to continue to see her boys and was reassured by them that they would still be interested in her regardless of her delicate state. However, my guard was going up…I thought she might want him not to see others…I was his only other girl. He barely had time for me. Warning sign #5.

One Sunday, he was not answering my texts. I became worried. He had cancelled a few of our dates due to his mom being ill and his wife getting in a car accident. I knew his wife was ok from the car accident but became concerned that something happened to his mother. I worried a large portion of the day and evening..

He did not contact me until Monday morning…

At work I took a scheduled break and we would have a morning chat. He told me that Monday morning that he and his wife needed some time together to work through some things. I understood. I told him that pregnancy hormones can be overwhelming the first few months and to give it time. She would eventually adapt to the fluctuations and it would be ok. He seemed to want to continue our relationship…

Later that afternoon, I get a message from him asking if he could call me. I was available and took his call. He was in tears…

He said that he had lied to me and his wife. They both had made a rule about playing in BDSM with others. They had agreed neither were allowed to play with others in BDSM roles. I do not understand such rules. Why would anyone care if I am paddled/flogged/bitten/etc. before I engage in sexual relations with a lover? I suppose it does not matter given that their rules prevented either from such play. He wanted that with me and his rules forbade him. He betrayed their preset rules…and lied to me about his wife being “OK” with our play at the local club…

He said that he could not see me anymore due to his lie. We had only played at the club twice. This somehow was enough for his wife to forbid him from ever seeing me again. I am not excusing his lie, but she was not lenient at all in the matter. She sat there in the background while he cried on the phone apologizing for causing me pain. He clearly loves me. I asked to speak to her. That’s when she mentioned that had she thought I was really interested in speaking with her, then she would have. She asked if he had played with others, I said “No.” She focused so much on his lie. She said she was mad that he lied to both of us. I offered help for her in the event she needed it. She seemed gracious but I am certain it was a facade.

I would have been fine only being vanilla (no BDSM) with him but clearly this was not acceptable to her. She always had issues with me and this seemed to be the way to get rid of me…I have never met this woman…she would never meet me…

I receive a text later from Boy 3 asking me to remove pics from social sites involving our play. He was not in the pictures, but he wanted them deleted regardless of the fact the pics were only of my body. He said he was getting help for his lying problem. I felt they both clearly needed help but refrained from saying so.

The next day, he unfriended me on Facebook and deleted all of his twitter accounts.

I was completely erased from his existence…our 5 months together seemed to have meant nothing. This hurt more than anything else…I was leaving this relationship with nothing…not even a friend.

The last text I sent stated how it felt to be erased from his existence and that I would not contact him again…I cried over this for 5 days…

I cared for Boy 3…very much so…but…I should have paid attention to the warning signs. He and his wife clearly have issues and I was drug into them. She still gets to see him. I have nothing from this…except experience…and fond memories of things that once were and will never be again…

Being polyamorous can be utterly heartbreaking. Honesty and communication is key. I need to acknowledge the warning signs and recognize issues as they arise. I took a risk and it shattered me. Do I take the risk again? I was happy with Boy 3. I will hold onto that.

Thanks For Reading,

Melliscious xx

Addendum: In regards to the pregnancy hormones…I am not blaming them for anything. I feel they do tend to enhance some insecurities which may or may not be related to Boy 3’s behavior. I do not condone his lying but I do feel that there are problems on both sides.

I will also add that they are now claiming to be monogamous…

I am sure there are plenty of issues here. I only know what Boy 3 told me. Likely some things were lies…I will update as I find out new information…I am still hurting and will likely have a clearer head as things progress…